Fortunately or Unfortunately?

DID THIS WITH A FRIEND!

Fortunately, I invented a machine that can turn someone or something invisible in an instant.
Unfortunately, it broke down while a male test subject was in the machine, and he died.
Fortunately, we moved on to another (very frightened ) female test subject, and the machine worked perfectly!
Unfortunately, the female test subject quit because she was very frightened that she would die, too.
Fortunately, they found another test subject that was far more brave, but male.
Unfortunately, they also wanted to test females, but they were all acting like babies that have their diapers full of doo doo.
Fortunately, Linda manned up and offered to be the test subject, even though her diaper was full.
Unfortunately, Linda was just being Linda, and she microwaved a frozen Capri-Sun, and it blew up the microwave, and the whole kitchen (it probably will cost a few bucks).
Fortunately, Linda had a few bucks/trillions. (If your wondering why, she's a trillionare)
Unfortunately, when she went to go withdraw some cash, there was nothing in her account because she realized she spent all the money on this gnarly golden toilet, with sweet diamond bedazzles.
Fortunately, she had that sweet toilet so her life was set.
Unfortunately, someone from the lab stole her sweet toilet because he was mad that she blew up the kitchen, and so she has no money left.
Fortunately, she submitted a ticket to the lottery, and won the powerball!
Unfortunately, Linda was cheering that she won the lottery, but she was not paying attention, and she was skipping and twirling in the road.

And got hit by a car.